Senior and Parents Notes from David Weintraub, William Hytche and Art Overholser
Seminar given on Tuesday, April 7, 2009

NOTE: These are in random order as they are answers to questions that were asked.

Biggest and best advice: WAKE UP AND GO TO CLASS!

Your parents won’t be responsible for getting you up and being on time—make sure you get to class.

Learning to get up, find the dining hall (during their open hours), and doing well in class can be hard. Be prepared that this could be a challenge and learn to start dealing with it.

Get involved in an activity and meet people. Remember you no longer have housework/household responsibilities, so your new job is to go to college and there is time for fun.

Parent Do’s: Let kids learn to balance and resolve problems

*Pick a time for calling home that is convenient for both of you or allow child to call “at will”

*Let them grow up! (Don’t solve their problems)

*Talk about curfews for when they come home: It is your house, but remembers they are grownups now. You should talk and compromise. Their schedule for sleep and awake time is now WAY DIFFERENT. They tend to stay up all night and study and then they function ….

Rooming with your “best friend” is a BAD idea. You often find you are not compatible—one is messy, one stays up late, plays music too loud, whatever—often you lose a friend because you find you cannot get along in close quarters. Use this opportunity to make new friends.

Parents: Let your student pick their course of study and the classes—do not do it for them. Don’t tell them what to study—you may find out that since they are not interested that they are not attending class or that they are not doing well in that class. They have advisors to help them—let the two of them do this job.

With FERPA: Most universities DO NOT share grades with parents due to privacy restrictions. Please ask your child to share with you.

Parents want to know your grades

Parents may call an advisor and ask how their student is doing—they CANNOT talk to you about it. They will encourage you to talk to your student.

How to take advantage of having access to an advisor: Seek out any faculty for advice. They will interpret the rules and parameters to get you through the path to graduate.

What if the student has chosen the “wrong college”? First semester is HARD! They need to give it more time—they have not adjusted yet. Most cannot transfer in first semester anyway. Transition is so hard—finding friends, roommates, the “too’s”: too late, too loud, too early…..the food is even different. At this point parents should first ask “Why?” Talk about this transition—really, it is hard on everyone!

Some additional advice: Get to know the custodians, café personnel, people who work at the college. Make friends with these people. Not only will it give you someone else to talk to and get an advice perspective from, but sometimes they help you feel more “at home”. Additionally, you may learn some insider tips on how the college is run or how to avoid lines in the Café, etc.

Go to a DEAN for further advice.

Try to get involved in only one or two activities—there is plenty of time for study, class and activities.

Avoid Greek life the first year—too much party activity, too much time spent in pledge activities.

Avoid most all parties: You need to look after yourself—ladies and gentlemen! Party activities can lead to a session in the Dean’s office for counseling. Do not be fooled by “lines” that you hear—he does NOT “love” you. Rape is a real concern and should be taken seriously—try to avoid putting yourself in these situations. Men as well as women need to take this advice—this is no longer confined to women only. Watch out for yourself.

Work-study: For some students this is not a choice—they must do this for their loan. There is enough time for them to do both and it could help students with time-management. But, try to avoid this if possible—be a student first and foremost.

Leave cars at home year one. They are not needed on a college campus. Also, many students find they are taken advantage of—everyone wants you to drive them someplace, they don’t pitch in for gas, want you to take them at their convenience and may try to talk you out of studying or another task that you should be doing at the time. DON’T let others borrow your car!!

At a big school, you will make your own “community”—do not expect to know everyone like you did in high school.

How to find services that the university offers: Ask other students—especially upperclassmen. They may know and can offer advice.

Our thanks to these fine panel speakers—it was a good session with many questions. Our panel stayed and answered additional personal questions when the seminar was over.

Biggest lessons were:

Get up and go to class

Ask for help with anything from: faculty, upperclassmen, advisor, Dean, staff, residence hall advisor

Parents: treat your student like a grown up